My goodness time is flying on by! It makes me sad to see my little munchkins growing up so fast right before my eyes as I am looking back on the past few years wondering where it all went. How on earth do I slow it down?! I seem to think in terms of seasons. And autumn holds a certain nostalgia as the leaves begin to fall and the air turns crisp. And suddenly I remember my first Halloween with Jordan, in our tiny one bedroom apartment in Provo, UT with our tiny bed and our really shabby hippy green couch that we got from my sister's friend's garage. We were working so hard at our jobs to pay for our schooling, sharing a two-door Honda Civic and eating tuna fish sandwiches for dinner. We won't touch tuna fish to this day. I remember taking walks alone on my days off work and studying in the park and wishing for a dog - or a kid or two - to sit by my side.
The following Halloween we were living in Omaha, NE attending Iowa Western for Jordan's soccer scholarship. We drove out in our Honda Civic and had zero furniture, minus a deflated air mattress that one of Jordan's teammates loaned us. We had the time of our lives living in the slums of downtown Omaha, spending half of each week on a tour bus attending soccer games all over the mid-west and sleeping in hotels, and trying to get the stink out of our clothes from our nasty apartment. We worked here and there, Jordan played soccer every day, and when we were short on money I got a "gig" dancing for the dance team ($500 to do a little booty shaking dance on the basketball court once a week - not too bad, ha ha! I had no shame - it was a quick way to make 500 bucks!) We loved our time there. We were so poor and had nothing, and we loved every minute of it.
The following Halloween the talk of babies was in the air. Okay, I admit, it was coming mostly from me. We were in our one bedroom house that had no working heater and were huddling under quilts in a bedroom full of electric heaters. We had to put our coat on to go to the bathroom! Yet, I felt like it might be a good time to talk about our future. Jordan was taking the MCAT a year earlier than he had planned and shortly after that got an interview at VCOM in Blacksburg, VA. We found out I was pregnant the day after he found out he was accepted to medical school - an exciting time for us!
The Halloween after that we were living in Blacksburg, VA for medical school... with our first baby. Beckham is such a wonderful blessing in our lives. I still remember his cute chubby face underneath his pumpkin costume... that he wore for 5 whole minutes for a quick photo shoot before we had to take it off of him for a diaper change. Jordan was studying around the clock for his first year of medical school, and I was getting used to the demands of a baby. But, we were moving up in the world... a two-bedroom apartment with working heat, woohoo!
The following year went by like a blur and I'm convinced this is the point where everything started going in fast-forward mode. Beckham dressed up as a doctor that Halloween - but that's all I can really remember. We were already trying to wish away our time hoping medical school would be over soon. Now I take it back. I wish we could go back and do it all over again and re-live every minute, even the grueling ones.
The following Halloween we were in Salisbury, NC staying with Jordan in a hotel while he completed one of his rotations. We draped spider webs over mirrors and chairs and tried to make the most of the holiday with our two-year-old. And talks of baby #2 were in the air, this time by both of us :)
The following year, Jordan was in Washington D.C. for his third straight month of traveling for Army rotations while Beckham and I waited in Fayetteville, NC. I was 8 months pregnant with our baby girl and looking forward to the return of my husband and the next stage - finding out where we would be going for residency.
And here we are - Halloween season is quickly approaching. Jordan matched to the Ophthalmology Residency in Washington D.C., where we bought our first home. We have our two beautiful children, Beckham, who just turned 4, and Ava who just turned 8 months. We now have two vehicles to accommodate our busy lifestyles and growing family. We have a pantry full of food and those wretched cans of tuna fish are no where to be found. Yet, I miss it. I miss the simplicity of having nothing. I miss the days when time seemed to move by a little slower. I watch my babies growing up right before my eyes and I want to slow it down and appreciate every moment. I wish I could go back and do it all over again. I wouldn't change a thing... except I would try to let time linger a little longer and enjoy it, knowing that in the future life would never be the same as this moment right N O W . And just like that...
it's gone...
just a memory.
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