I'm back from the dead! Or at least from the world of pregnancy exhaustion. :) I just got to week 15 and am happy to announce that I am hungry ALL of the time now rather than cringing at the sight (and smell, and thoughts, and so on) of food. And I have my energy back for doing spring cleaning, getting out for spontaneous activities with the kids, studying regularly, and .... banning television. And that final thing has been an amazing thing!
Introduction into a tv-free environment:
Anyone who knows me already knows that I hate tv. I don't enjoy watching it and have never had a desire to have a tv for any reason other than watching the occasional movie. Through most of our marriage we have not had television. Occasionally Jordan would sign up for a three month summer deal or would get cable just long enough to watch the NBA finals, but other than that we haven't really cared to have tv set up in our home. Therefore, Beckham has grown up in a television-free environment. And it has always been such a great thing. He's an active little boy and doesn't care to sit still anyway. Every now and then I would buy him a $5 movie at Target of Elmo's World or Thomas the Train or whatever his current phase was at the time.
The slippery slope:
About a year ago, we signed up for Netflix and all of the sudden he had all sorts of great kid shows to choose from. Commercial free, might I add ;) With a combination of him being old enough to fall in love with cartoons at age 3 1/2 and the birth of Ava, he was all of the sudden watching 1-2 hours of netflix cartoons every day. Then we moved and Jordan wanted to get a satelite dish to watch sports and politics... and Beckham was introduced to the world of cable tv. Unlimited cartoons on at least a dozen stations playing all day long! It was a 4-year-old's dream! And, for the sake of saving my sanity, I let him watch about an hour a day while his baby sister napped and while I got ready for the day. It was the perfect babysitter. And then for Christmas he got his first video game and he was ecstatic! So, on top of his hour of tv every morning, he was begging to play his video game for an hour every afternoon.
The accidental epiphany:
Then, something happened. He had started taking food out of the kitchen every morning without asking. Not just any food, but any junkfood he could find. If we didn't have candy or popscicles, he would eat all the marshmallows out of the Lucky Charms, or eat all of frozen fruit in the freezer. We tried taking away privileges, and nothing was working. Then, I took away tv and video games for a whole week and told him he would have to earn that privilege back by NOT taking food without asking that entire week. It worked like a charm. But something else happened, too. Beckham started playing with old toys again, drawing pictures, sculpting with playdough, building blocks, reading more books, building puzzles, completing his pre-k workbooks (sometimes an entire book in one sitting!), and participating more and more in make-believe play. His behavior changed significantly. Less arguing and bad attitudes and more politeness and cheerfulness. I never worried about his activity level because he has always been extremely active, but I guess I forgot about all of the other productive, educational things he was missing out on while wasting away his time in front of the tv for 1-2 hours daily. I mean, think of what you could do as an adult with an extra 1-2 hours per day... and then double that productivity level with the energy of a young child who soaks everything up like a sponge. At this rate he could learn Chinese in a year! ha ha!
The academic studies to back my claim:
I remember in college doing a research paper for my Philosophy of Childhood class. It was about the long-term effects of television on children. Thousands of studies have been carried out on the subject, and most of them say the same things, essentially. I looked into these studies again and read an article posted by the University of Michigan. Extensive television watching and video game playing leads children to anti-social behaviors, eventual adult obesity or poor lifestyle habits, attention difficulties in school, sleep difficulties, behavioral problems - particularly in boys acting out violently, making poor choices in their teenage years regarding sex, drugs and alcohol, and poor study habits. Television also takes away from more enriching activities such as reading (which, neurological studies show, activates the brain significantly more than staring at the television), socializing with family and friends and learning and practicing good values in the process, getting outside for exercise and fresh air, and practicing skills such as music or drawing and so on. Anyhow, it all came back to me as I watched my own son revert back to his productivity level from the pre-tv days. And I was sold. No more regular tv from now on.
The new lifestyle of my 4-year-old:
We have made tv a special "entertainment" privilege. He can watch for 30 minutes a day if he has already done all of his chores and his homework (which for him means making his bed, cleaning up his toys, and completing at least one lesson in his pre-k lesson book), and if he has followed all the household rules such as not taking food without asking and being nice to his sister. Then he chooses a show, if he wants. But I have found that MOST days the tv doesn't even go on and he doesn't even request it or miss it... which actually allows us to have a little more flexibility as parents on those random days when he does want to watch two or three shows at a time because there's just nothing else to do or he's tired, etc. As far as the video game goes, now he gets to play it for 30 minutes once a week as a special privilege for the week. And he loves it! As soon as it's his day to play, he treats it like we're taking him to Disneyland.
So, what's my point in all this? I feel like I got sidetracked as a busy parent for awhile there and was using the television as my babysitter for my kid so I could get things done. Once I realized, again, all the long-term negative effects this habit would have and all the good that could come of decreasing the amount of television in his life, I feel almost enlightened! This no tv thing has been a wonderful thing for Beckham, will be a wonderful thing for our family in the long run, and - here's the great part! - my fear of banning the tv creating more work for me in the end actually isn't true at all. Now Beckham is keeping himself occupied with better, more educational endeavors while I get the baby down for a nap or while I exercise. I'm convinced once again, tv is such a waste of time! Now that's not to discredit the good that can come out of tv. I think with limited, parent-censored tv, kids still get valuable things out of it such as cultural education, creative imagination, interactive stimulation, (and somethin-somethin combobulation... perhaps I'd be able to come up with a more creative ending to all of this if I did a little more reading myself :)
It's funny that I read this last night because I have banned TV for Donovan this week. When he's awake, the TV is off. Brad can't even watch his DVR'd soccer games when he comes home from lunch. I became a little lazy and was letting him watch way too much TV when I was pregnant and when Chamae was born. He was starting to act out a lot too so I decided we would keep it off for this week to see if it would help. It really has! He's still a 3 year old so he has his moments, but they are becoming fewer and farther between.
ReplyDeleteGreat post. My little guy asks to play Batman Lego every other day or so. I usually let him play for half an hour after he cleans all his toys and gets all ready for the day (and sometimes other chores too). But lately he's gotten really upset when it's time to turn it off or when I tell him "not today." So I tell him that the next time he won't be able to play because of his attitude.
ReplyDeleteYesterday he asked if he could play and I reminded him that he was going to his dad's in the afternoon (and he ALWAYS plays video games there). He surprised me by saying, "Ok mom. I won't play video games here anymore. I'll just play them at dad's." And we read books instead. It was great.
One other note about our other little guy Cohen (my stepson). His mom told Hans that he's had an attitude lately and could we help with that? Well, Cohen is with his mom almost all day except for when he's at preschool. He's with us in the evenings and overnight. And you know what Cohen has been talking about doing at his mom's lately? Playing Call of Duty--a 5 year old!!! playing that horrible shooting people game. No wonder he has an attitude. Makes me upset, as you can tell.
Anyway, way-to-go on banning TV!!!!!!!
Lego Batman! Ah, yes - that is the very game that got him hooked! It's a great game for a 4-year-old boy - super heroes, action-packed, legos.... what little boy could ask for more? But we also had a problem with tantrums as soon as it was time to turn the game off. Even if he got to play every day for an hour, he was so upset when playtime was over. Ironically, now that he only gets to play it once a week, he is okay with it getting turned off once the timer goes off. Funny how that works!
ReplyDelete