"The Dark Ages" - or - "Let's Shake Things Up!"

For the past couple of weeks, I have sort of envisioned my current existence as "The Dark Ages." A once educated individual, I have diverted back to a life without reading, writing, or thinking beyond meeting primitive needs for my family - food, clean, sleep, food, clean, sleep. Jordan and I always knew what we were getting ourselves into when we decided to become parents of a third baby during residency. We knew it would be INSANE! But, we didn't hesitate for a moment and jumped into the deep end and have been gasping for air ever since. With no regrets.

You see, the funny thing about diverting backwards to a simpler existence, albeit an exhausting one, is that you begin to reevaluate your priorities. For example, is it really a necessity to make sure the entire house stays clean 100% of the time? These days I'm thrilled to have any one room in the house entirely clean. It's a new simple pleasure in my life. Today I vacuumed the kids' rooms and washed their windows and felt completely renewed! It's amazing how much you can take those mundane things for granted. Also, as much as I love to cook nutritious food for my family, I have learned that there is absolutely nothing wrong with ordering out after a long day of changing diapers and cleaning up spitup.

Even more than learning to overlook the things that aren't necessities, however, I have also started to realize, maybe for the first time since I was a carefree teenager, what actually makes life matter. Is it more important that I fold all the laundry right this minute, or go jump in the leaves with my five year old? What will not only make him (and me) happy, but will contribute to the greatest outcome? I choose jumping in the leaves.

The truth of the matter is, having this third baby has not led to a "Dark Ages" at all. It has led to a renewal of life... It's almost like our little Lincoln jumped right into our family with the motto of "Let's Shake Things Up!"

Now I find myself making every moment matter. I feel renewed in this new life of simplicity, for I don't have the luxury of time to waste. I have to carefully evaluate what needs to be done for my children's health and safety, and next turn to what should be done for my children's long-term happiness. And mine! I am quickly learning that if I don't feel fulfilled in my goals, I am not a happy mom. I have always put so much emphasis on doing everything for everyone else and have found myself so stressed and strained, and even sometimes miserable,that I haven't even begun to fulfill my original goal of making everyone happy. Now, I am finding balance. Solace. Joy!!!

I am becoming the mom I always wanted to be. After we got some basic chores and schoolwork done today, we played in the leaves, created masterpieces with sidewalk chalk, baked cookies, and held a hilarious family talent show where Jordan showed off his clapping pushups, Beckham showed us how he can run faster than Flash, and Ava showed us how she could walk backwards, as little Linc grinned his big toothless grin. I even wowed the kids by "floating in mid-air" with a yoga pose. At the end of the day, I ignored the dishes, and exercised. As the baby cries upstairs, I don't feel overwhelmed at all. I feel grateful. I have a family that loves me and needs me. I love this new way of life. Now, I just hope I can let it linger for awhile ;)

Whooo's That Lady....

Here they are... by popular demand. Since most of you did not get to see my awesome side profile this entire pregnancy, I decided to humor you with the shots Mica took of me after the due date came and went. So, here you are folks... Erin at 40.4 weeks pregnant! I cannot tell you how many cracks I got about "smuggling a watermelon" under my shirt. Yes, yes, I know... the belly is huge!

3 kids!

Lincoln's Grand Entrance

I know it has been a good long while since I have posted on this blog. In fact, I will be amazed if any of my blog followers still bother to even check up on this blog! But, I have the perfect excuse, I swear! The summer was spent being pregnant, finshing up a year of teaching Joy School, juggling kids, finishing my classes which entailed studying and typing papers into the painful wee hours of the morning, taking finals, all as Jordan finished up Internship Year.

We have moved to the next phase. Officially. I'm done with school (for the time being), Jordan has moved on to his Residency, and we now have THREE kids in the house!!!

Lincoln Everett Thomson was born August 30th at 9:06 a.m., weighing in at exactly 8 pounds, 20.5 inches. Although born four days past his due date, he was sure in a hurry to get here! We had just experienced a magnitude 5.8 earthquake earlier that week, followed by Hurricane Irene that swept up the East Coast in her windy, rainy fury. Early the morning of the 30th, around 4 a.m., I was sound asleep dreaming that I was playing pro football, fully pregnant, and I had just tackled the Quarterback at the goal line... he had barely made it, to my team's dismay. As the Quarterback made a big deal over his touchdown, I just stood up and said, "Whatever. I'm having my baby today. I don't have time for this." I awoke at that point. I felt wide awake and alert, but I didn't know why. I considered getting up to work on one of my many projects - cleaning the refrigerator, filing our documents, scrubbing the bathrooms. I laughed at myself for having the sudden urge to get everything done at four o'clock in the morning. Nesting. Ha! I talked myself into staying in bed since I had a full day planned and figured I would need the rest.

I wasn't exactly having contractions at that point, but I just knew that something was under way. Before I knew it, two hours had passed, and I still laid there wide awake as Jordan got up and got ready for work. I considered telling him that I felt like I was going to have a baby that day, but decided against it since I had lost faith in my ability to read my own body. I had called him on several occasions over the past few weeks to tell him that I may or may not be going into labor. All had been false alarms, obviously. So, how could I explain that I felt like something was different about that particular day if I wasn't even having contractions? So, off he went to work, and I still laid there... waiting. It was the strangest thing. It's like I knew what was in store for me, only as soon as I decided I was ready. And, just like that, when I decided to get up for the day, around 6:20 a.m., the contractions started immediately - and they came strong and fast at about three minutes apart.

I called Jordan just as he was walking from the parking garage to his building at work, and let him know that he'd better come home. He got back to the house around 7:15, and we left as soon as the bags were packed at 7:30. The contractions were coming about every two minutes at that point and lasting for about a minute. We had what seemed like the world's longest commute to the hospital. I don't remember every single street having so many potholes before! Or traffic lights taking soooo long! Oh, man, it was agonizing! I kept thinking, "what is taking so long?!" the entire drive. We got to the parking garage around 8:10 and had to find parking, which is always a twenty to thirty minute endeavor at the military hospital. Luckily we got a spot after a few minutes since someone pulled out of their spot just ahead of us. At that point, we took the world's longest walk from the parking garage to the hospital. Every few feet I had to stop and breathe through a contraction. In fact, it seemed like I wasn't having much of a break between contractions at that point. I was terrified that I was going to have the baby right there in the street! We made it into the hospital, but it was still a long journey from building 19 to building 9. People were asking us if we needed a wheelchair and would disappear around the corner to go find one, but I couldn't stop and wait for anything. This baby was coming! I kept walking, and stopping when the pain got too intense, and then walked again.

We finally, finally made it to our building, secured a wheel chair, and then had to wait for an elevator. World's longest wait for an elevator. One elevator opened up and was already at capacity with a janitor and a huge garbage bin. I felt like cursing and crying all at once as I sobbed to Jordan quietly, "we can't fit in there..." as the janitor just stared at us, absolutely dumbfounded. We waited for the next elevator. When it finally came, a whole crowd filed in behind us. And we stopped at every. single. floor. all the way up. Each time that elevator door opened I felt an urge to scream in desperation (which I didn't - I still had some composure at this point, ha ha). I then had a vision of what my new biggest fear was: delivering my baby in an elevator.

We finally made it to our floor... and had to check in at the front desk. They finally let us back into the hallway... where we had to wait for a triage room to become available. I felt like screaming, "triage room?! You've got to be kidding me! I'm IN LABOR!!!" At that point, the contractions were coming one on top of the next with no breaks and I was ready to check myself into a room and deliver the baby myself! I grabbed Jordan's shirt and cried pitifully, "what is taking so long?!" They got us into the triage room, where they determined that, surprise, surprise, "This woman is in active labor and needs to be checked in." I was so annoyed! I was further annoyed with the array of questions that were repeated, verbatim, by three different people as I lay there waiting to deliver a baby. "Do you have any allergies?" "Are you on any medications?" "In the instance that you would need a blood transfusion, do you understand the risks?" "Did you have a strep test performed at your last visit... and what was the result?" and so on, and so forth.

I was hoping for the epidural at that point (gone were my dreams of a peaceful, hypnobirth delivery), but I kind of already knew that it was too late for that. The anesthesiologist, bless his heart, hurried in anyway and started to prep me - just in case he could hurry and alleviate at least some of the pain. As soon as I turned to my side, however, my water broke, and talk about PAINFUL CONTRACTIONS! All of the sudden I felt like I was being beaten from all sides by big men with sticks. Sticks with nails in them. I remember thinking, "So, this is what a 'ten' on the pain scale feels like?" My whole body was shuddering in pain and I couldn't hold it in any longer. With my eyes clenched shut, I cried and cried. (At least I think I cried. If not out loud, I sure was crying to myself.) I don't remember any faces, because my eyes were clenched shut. I do remember one nurse telling me to relax my legs and I just said, "I can't... I really can't..." I had never felt so much at the mercy of other people in my entire life.

And, just like that, Lincoln was born. At 9:06 a.m., after the longest two hours of my life, our little Linc was born, healthy and beautiful and flawless. And everything in my mind went from chaos and unbearable pain to absolute calm. I opened my eyes to see people running in and out of the room (apparently no body had expected such a speedy delivery within minutes of us showing up), but everything seemed silent and peaceful to me. As I laid back onto the bed with a sigh of relief, my whole body shaking uncontrollably from the adrenaline of experiencing so much pain, I watched the nurse clean my baby. I just stared at that sweet baby boy, longing to hold him. I didn't take my eyes off him for a second.

Everything after that was smooth sailing. I got to cuddle with my baby all day and night. Jordan went to pick up Beckham and Ava later that day and they were delighted to meet him. I loved watching their excited faces as they met their brother for the first time! We got to go home after 24 hours, and I had the fortune of having one of my amazing friends, Mica Hale Hauley, here with us to share in the joys (and exhaustion) of having a newborn in the house.

I don't know what I would have done without Mica's help and companionship! I remember feeling so lonely after the birth of my other kids, but this time I felt like somebody was there with me to celebrate and just be there with me! I really am fortunate to have so many amazing people in my life. Mica is like a sister to me. We've known each other since we were about 14 years old. She's been there for every major event in my life. In fact, she was even there the night I met Jordan. And for our first date. And then for our wedding :) It seems more than appropriate that she be here with us for the birth of our baby. I love that girl!

Three weeks has gone by. My baby is getting bigger by the minute (that might have something to do with his current 72-hour growth spurt streak where he has been eating EVERY HOUR like clockwork). As I juggle my three babies, I hope I never forget the quiet peace of being so in love with them and being so grateful to have them here with me, in the midst of the noise and chaos all around.

Today my baby #3 is three weeks old.

The nights are lonely... The days are so sad....

Okay, well the days aren't SO sad. But the nights are long and lonely when your husband is gone working 90-100 hours per week including those dreaded 30-hour shifts. I cannot wait for this rotation to be OVER!!! And, in two more months, we will have survived Internship year, notorious for its long, horrible hours. I don't care what anybody says, this lifestyle affects the entire family. The kids miss Jordan. I miss Jordan. We try to stay busy during the day - which really isn't the challenge. There are always so many things we have to do and want to do in the day. But as soon as night comes, and the kids are tucked away in their beds, I find myself alone in our house.

Since moving in last May, I have never been able to walk into our living room and sit down and relax if Jordan is not home. It feels so sad and lonely in there without him. The couch seems too big and cold. There's no point in turning on the tv because the whole point of watching anything is to sit there with Jordan and laugh together.

So, I either clean or study or stare at my computer screen thinking about how I should study, like tonight, but instead do nothing. I am tired. But, I cannot sleep... not yet... Jordan is gone and falling asleep will be next to impossible. I have so much to do. But I cannot be productive because I'm exhausted. So, I sit. I stare ahead at my empty computer screen where I should be laboriously typing yet another paper. Instead, my head fills with lyrics from years ago.

...And I'm dying inside
And nobody knows it but me
Like a clown, I put on a show
The pain is real even if nobody knows
And I'm crying inside
And nobody knows it but me

Why didn't I say
The things I needed to say
How could I let my angel get away
Now my world is tumbling down
I can say it so clearly
But you're nowhere around

The nights are lonely
The days are so sad
And I just keep thinking about
The love that we had
And I'm missing you
And nobody knows it but me

I carry a smile when I'm broken in two
And I'm nobody without someone like you
And I'm trembling at night and
Nobody knows it but me
I lie awake, it's quarter past three
I'm screaming at night as if
I thought you'd hear me
Yeah my heart is calling you
And nobody knows it but me....

So, there's my sappy, missing-Jordan tale for the evening. This man has haunted me now for over 13 years! It was about 11 years ago that he played this song for me for the first time. At the time we had been broken up for a few months and I had gotten engaged, foolishly, to somebody else during that time. I was an idiot. Yet, Jordan and I both missed each other like crazy despite our stubbornness. I cried over him every night and nobody knew it. Then, right before he left on his mission to Kentucky, Jordan and I spent a few weeks together. He played that song for me right before he left. And that's the first song I heard on the radio the very next day as I got into my car.

It kind of became a theme for us. Missing each other. It has never been easy but we have had several times over the past several years of having to miss each other. Mission, work, school, military. Sometimes it has been a mere matter of tasks taking over and not having enough time together. Other times he has had to go away for a few months for military and school. This year, it has been long hours at work. But, as much as I miss him on nights like tonight, I'm so glad that I have that reassurance that I get to be in his arms tomorrow. Sappy. I know. Blame the pregnancy hormones or the lack of sleep or whatever, but it has been a really long couple of weeks and on nights like this all I really want is my husband by my side and that's something I will NEVER take for granted.

Ban on TV

I'm back from the dead! Or at least from the world of pregnancy exhaustion. :) I just got to week 15 and am happy to announce that I am hungry ALL of the time now rather than cringing at the sight (and smell, and thoughts, and so on) of food. And I have my energy back for doing spring cleaning, getting out for spontaneous activities with the kids, studying regularly, and .... banning television. And that final thing has been an amazing thing!

Introduction into a tv-free environment:
Anyone who knows me already knows that I hate tv. I don't enjoy watching it and have never had a desire to have a tv for any reason other than watching the occasional movie. Through most of our marriage we have not had television. Occasionally Jordan would sign up for a three month summer deal or would get cable just long enough to watch the NBA finals, but other than that we haven't really cared to have tv set up in our home. Therefore, Beckham has grown up in a television-free environment. And it has always been such a great thing. He's an active little boy and doesn't care to sit still anyway. Every now and then I would buy him a $5 movie at Target of Elmo's World or Thomas the Train or whatever his current phase was at the time.

The slippery slope:
About a year ago, we signed up for Netflix and all of the sudden he had all sorts of great kid shows to choose from. Commercial free, might I add ;) With a combination of him being old enough to fall in love with cartoons at age 3 1/2 and the birth of Ava, he was all of the sudden watching 1-2 hours of netflix cartoons every day. Then we moved and Jordan wanted to get a satelite dish to watch sports and politics... and Beckham was introduced to the world of cable tv. Unlimited cartoons on at least a dozen stations playing all day long! It was a 4-year-old's dream! And, for the sake of saving my sanity, I let him watch about an hour a day while his baby sister napped and while I got ready for the day. It was the perfect babysitter. And then for Christmas he got his first video game and he was ecstatic! So, on top of his hour of tv every morning, he was begging to play his video game for an hour every afternoon.

The accidental epiphany:
Then, something happened. He had started taking food out of the kitchen every morning without asking. Not just any food, but any junkfood he could find. If we didn't have candy or popscicles, he would eat all the marshmallows out of the Lucky Charms, or eat all of frozen fruit in the freezer. We tried taking away privileges, and nothing was working. Then, I took away tv and video games for a whole week and told him he would have to earn that privilege back by NOT taking food without asking that entire week. It worked like a charm. But something else happened, too. Beckham started playing with old toys again, drawing pictures, sculpting with playdough, building blocks, reading more books, building puzzles, completing his pre-k workbooks (sometimes an entire book in one sitting!), and participating more and more in make-believe play. His behavior changed significantly. Less arguing and bad attitudes and more politeness and cheerfulness. I never worried about his activity level because he has always been extremely active, but I guess I forgot about all of the other productive, educational things he was missing out on while wasting away his time in front of the tv for 1-2 hours daily. I mean, think of what you could do as an adult with an extra 1-2 hours per day... and then double that productivity level with the energy of a young child who soaks everything up like a sponge. At this rate he could learn Chinese in a year! ha ha!

The academic studies to back my claim:
I remember in college doing a research paper for my Philosophy of Childhood class. It was about the long-term effects of television on children. Thousands of studies have been carried out on the subject, and most of them say the same things, essentially. I looked into these studies again and read an article posted by the University of Michigan. Extensive television watching and video game playing leads children to anti-social behaviors, eventual adult obesity or poor lifestyle habits, attention difficulties in school, sleep difficulties, behavioral problems - particularly in boys acting out violently, making poor choices in their teenage years regarding sex, drugs and alcohol, and poor study habits. Television also takes away from more enriching activities such as reading (which, neurological studies show, activates the brain significantly more than staring at the television), socializing with family and friends and learning and practicing good values in the process, getting outside for exercise and fresh air, and practicing skills such as music or drawing and so on. Anyhow, it all came back to me as I watched my own son revert back to his productivity level from the pre-tv days. And I was sold. No more regular tv from now on.

The new lifestyle of my 4-year-old:
We have made tv a special "entertainment" privilege. He can watch for 30 minutes a day if he has already done all of his chores and his homework (which for him means making his bed, cleaning up his toys, and completing at least one lesson in his pre-k lesson book), and if he has followed all the household rules such as not taking food without asking and being nice to his sister. Then he chooses a show, if he wants. But I have found that MOST days the tv doesn't even go on and he doesn't even request it or miss it... which actually allows us to have a little more flexibility as parents on those random days when he does want to watch two or three shows at a time because there's just nothing else to do or he's tired, etc. As far as the video game goes, now he gets to play it for 30 minutes once a week as a special privilege for the week. And he loves it! As soon as it's his day to play, he treats it like we're taking him to Disneyland.


So, what's my point in all this? I feel like I got sidetracked as a busy parent for awhile there and was using the television as my babysitter for my kid so I could get things done. Once I realized, again, all the long-term negative effects this habit would have and all the good that could come of decreasing the amount of television in his life, I feel almost enlightened! This no tv thing has been a wonderful thing for Beckham, will be a wonderful thing for our family in the long run, and - here's the great part! - my fear of banning the tv creating more work for me in the end actually isn't true at all. Now Beckham is keeping himself occupied with better, more educational endeavors while I get the baby down for a nap or while I exercise. I'm convinced once again, tv is such a waste of time! Now that's not to discredit the good that can come out of tv. I think with limited, parent-censored tv, kids still get valuable things out of it such as cultural education, creative imagination, interactive stimulation, (and somethin-somethin combobulation... perhaps I'd be able to come up with a more creative ending to all of this if I did a little more reading myself :)

The First Trimester Blurrrrr

I have no energy for typing on this blog lately. In fact, I hesitated even starting this post knowing very well that it would be very short, sweet, and absolutely uneventful. The first trimester of pregnancy has never felt so absolutely exhausting before! I count myself lucky for having experienced two very easy pregnancies in the past because this current one is hitting me like a ton of bricks. I had never gotten so sick before... Luckily I know someone in the drug business and got some Zofran immediately ;) I never thought I would welcome any drug into my life so readily. That miracle drug has been what has saved me from absolute misery and I kiss the feet of whoever invented it. As far as the old lady exhaustion goes... well, let's just say I'm doing the bare minimum these days. I wake up, keep the kids fed and happy all day, and that's just about it. By the time they are in bed for the night, so am I. I joke with Jordan that it might look like I'm doing absolutely nothing, but there's actually a whole factory production going on manufacturing a human-being with fingers and toes and a nervous system and a fast little heart beat and, frankly, it's just taking up all of my resources. So, by the looks of this blog, it might look like I haven't been up to much... But, I assure you, I AM, I AM! Thankfully, I only have one more week until the first trimester has passed and then hopefully I can start getting more energy, stop feeling so sick all the time, and can add some cute pictures of the kids to this blog!

I will add a cute story about Beckham because he just cracks us up every day. Lately he insists on wearing something very unique that will get attention and will "look cool." He wears his Captain America costume quite often. One day it got dirty and I told him that I'd have to wash it and he got so upset and said, "But, mom! Then no body will think I look cool!" Then he asked if he could put on his new church suit. That always gets a lot of attention at church, so he figured he should wear it to the grocery store. I told him "no." So, the next thing I know, he's up in his bedroom putting on camo pants with his "super hero belt" and a lime green shirt and THREE clip-on neck ties. He found a way to still stand out and look super-cool. I laughed so hard (not at him... just later when telling Jordan about it). Then, today, he wanted to wear his baseball hat to Joy School. I told him he couldn't wear it to class because it would be too distracting but that he could wear it in the car. Again, he wanted to look cool, so he made a point to wear it as he got out of the car and waited for all of the other kids to notice him and only then did he take off his hat and hand it to me and run inside to join his friends. This kid makes me laugh every single day. He is always doing such cute things!

So, that's us. More eventful, energetic, exciting things to come in the near future (I HOPE!)

Surprise!

Christmastime was a whirlwind of activity. I have yet to download the photos to add to our blog! With sick kids, a constantly-working husband, holiday festivities, shopping, baking, parties, visits to friends and neighbors and the elderly, all the while feeling like I had some sort of persistent flu bug that wouldn't go away... well, it has just been impossible to keep up with emails and blogging.

I never get sick. I never get the flu shot because I've never needed it before and I've never regretted not getting it. I have the immune system of a horse (do horses have great immune systems?... I just always assume that "healthy as a horse" comment has some clout). I proudly and mercilessly fight off anything that comes my way. When someone in my family gets sick, I whip out my get-well remedies and heal them overnight (for this, Jordan thinks I'm a witch... and because I can predict weather, have strange psychic abilities and put hexes on him from time to time... but we won't go into any of that, ha ha). But, then all of the sudden there was this relentless nausea and exhaustion that would not go away no matter what I tried. There was absolutely no way I was pregnant, so I ruled that out. NO way. So, I pushed through the holidays trying to ignore my symptoms waiting for them to pass.

Two days after Christmas the symptoms not only hadn't subsided, they had gotten worse! Not only that, it was affecting me in every way. All of the sudden egg nog tasted like Lysol cleaner might taste. Then it happened to the broccoli. I couldn't figure out what was happening to me! I was beginning to question my super-human ability to fight infectious disease. Was I becoming soft in my ripe old age of 29? Then, it happened. I gagged while brushing my teeth one night. That has always been the tell-tale sign for pregnancy in the past. I LOVE to brush my teeth. I will sit and brush my teeth for 10 minutes if I have the chance, but when I'm pregnant I gag on the toothpaste and can't stand it for longer than a couple of minutes, tops. So, at the store, just to humor myself, I bought a pregnancy test. I snuck it into the cart the same way Jordan sneaks in soda pop and junk food. It was going to come out negative anyway. But, I threw in a kit with two tests... just in case.

As soon as we got home I stealthily ventured into the bathroom upstairs... where Ava followed me. I opened the pregnancy kit, laughing to myself about having even bought it and just knowing it would come out negative. As Ava pulled on my pant leg crying for me to pick her up and Beckham hollered for me downstairs (he still didn't know where I disappeared to), I watched two pink lines appear instantly in the indicator window. Pregnant, eh? Nope. Couldn't be. That one was defective. I threw it away instantly.

I mentioned it to Jordan in passing a few minutes later. It went something like this: "So, I took a pregnancy test a few minutes ago... and it says I'm pregnant. But, I'm going to take another test because something is wrong with that one. I probably didn't do it right (total lie - I have done at least 20 of these in the past few years while trying for baby 1 and 2)." He excitedly embraced me and told me he loved me as he congratulated me, completely baffling me by his utter excitement. Couldn't he see I was terrified... and nervous... and TERRIFIED?! I kept a calm, cool face as I explained I would just go ahead and take another test the next day, no big deal.

Yeah, right. Like I was really going to wait an entire day.

Less than an hour later, the kids were in bed and I quite literally ran into the bathroom and tried again. Two pink lines appeared instantly. Huh. Two positive pregnancy tests. Go figure. Both defective? I mean, I just COULDN'T be pregnant. That's not how it works. An an "experienced" mom of two, har har, I know how this goes. And the way it goes is this: we talk about having a baby for about a year, then we try to get pregnant for a year, then we inform the doctor that it has been a year with no luck, at which point I start the round of fertility medications for several months, all the while taking pregnancy test after pregnancy test, month after month, hoping for a positive reading, until the time has finally come when I see those two pink lines on that plastic contraption I have grown to both despise and love... and THEN we give everyone the wonderful news of "Hooray we're pregnant!"

Now, here I was, with a baby who was just shy of turning one, still nursing, and we'd only barely decided to try for baby #3 on a whim a few weeks ago (our third and final - and might I add: fearful - attempt at making babies ... we both knew we wanted a third, but we both felt like the longer we waited the more we'd chicken out, so we took the "now or never" approach).... Could it really happen THAT FAST?

YES... YES, IT COULD.

And Baby #3 wasn't going to give us the option of backing out or deciding to wait a year or two. This baby is on it's way, ready or not!




P.S. And, after the initial fear and denial, I am very excited about this :) I was afraid because I know exactly what I'm in for, but thankfully I love every minute of this relentless - yet rewarding - job called motherhood. I was in denial because it seems like it was TOO easy. It's like as soon as we made this spontaneous decision it just happened overnight, which is a new experience for us. I'm used to the year of planning, the year of trying, and then the 9 months of being pregnant - it's always a 3 year process. Now all of the sudden it's this instantaneous event that makes perfect sense and no sense to me all at once. For starters, Jordan, the logical-about-everything-super-planner was so on board with trying for a baby with no prior planning, no spread sheets, no diagrams or budget forms or calendars of due dates based on conception dates - he was just all for jumping into this decision. Secondly, as soon as I found out I was pregnant, he wasn't at all shocked and surprised, only excited and happy. Come to think of it... maybe Dr. Thomson has been slipping fertility pills into my drinks for the past few months and planned this whole thing??? Tricky man.

(AND, on a side note, if anyone knows of student who would like to live in D.C. rent-free for a semester while getting paid as a part-time nanny, I'm definitely considering hiring someone to help me out for the first few months!!!)