"The Dark Ages" - or - "Let's Shake Things Up!"

For the past couple of weeks, I have sort of envisioned my current existence as "The Dark Ages." A once educated individual, I have diverted back to a life without reading, writing, or thinking beyond meeting primitive needs for my family - food, clean, sleep, food, clean, sleep. Jordan and I always knew what we were getting ourselves into when we decided to become parents of a third baby during residency. We knew it would be INSANE! But, we didn't hesitate for a moment and jumped into the deep end and have been gasping for air ever since. With no regrets.

You see, the funny thing about diverting backwards to a simpler existence, albeit an exhausting one, is that you begin to reevaluate your priorities. For example, is it really a necessity to make sure the entire house stays clean 100% of the time? These days I'm thrilled to have any one room in the house entirely clean. It's a new simple pleasure in my life. Today I vacuumed the kids' rooms and washed their windows and felt completely renewed! It's amazing how much you can take those mundane things for granted. Also, as much as I love to cook nutritious food for my family, I have learned that there is absolutely nothing wrong with ordering out after a long day of changing diapers and cleaning up spitup.

Even more than learning to overlook the things that aren't necessities, however, I have also started to realize, maybe for the first time since I was a carefree teenager, what actually makes life matter. Is it more important that I fold all the laundry right this minute, or go jump in the leaves with my five year old? What will not only make him (and me) happy, but will contribute to the greatest outcome? I choose jumping in the leaves.

The truth of the matter is, having this third baby has not led to a "Dark Ages" at all. It has led to a renewal of life... It's almost like our little Lincoln jumped right into our family with the motto of "Let's Shake Things Up!"

Now I find myself making every moment matter. I feel renewed in this new life of simplicity, for I don't have the luxury of time to waste. I have to carefully evaluate what needs to be done for my children's health and safety, and next turn to what should be done for my children's long-term happiness. And mine! I am quickly learning that if I don't feel fulfilled in my goals, I am not a happy mom. I have always put so much emphasis on doing everything for everyone else and have found myself so stressed and strained, and even sometimes miserable,that I haven't even begun to fulfill my original goal of making everyone happy. Now, I am finding balance. Solace. Joy!!!

I am becoming the mom I always wanted to be. After we got some basic chores and schoolwork done today, we played in the leaves, created masterpieces with sidewalk chalk, baked cookies, and held a hilarious family talent show where Jordan showed off his clapping pushups, Beckham showed us how he can run faster than Flash, and Ava showed us how she could walk backwards, as little Linc grinned his big toothless grin. I even wowed the kids by "floating in mid-air" with a yoga pose. At the end of the day, I ignored the dishes, and exercised. As the baby cries upstairs, I don't feel overwhelmed at all. I feel grateful. I have a family that loves me and needs me. I love this new way of life. Now, I just hope I can let it linger for awhile ;)