Dancing Queen!

I did it!  I successfully knocked out my first New Year's Resolution:  Dance, for real.

After a month of very hard work learning and perfecting a Bollywood dance piece, attending classes in the evenings after kids were fed and in bed, juggling schedules with Jordan, practicing in the kitchen every time I cooked a meal (to Ava's delight!), and getting juggled around to perform dance A and then dance B and then dance C by my choreographer/director, I got up early this morning and drove to the Martin Luther King Jr. Day/Inauguration Celebrations and put on a good show.  I may have only been on stage for five minutes or so, but it was worth it!

I forgot how much I love to dance.  My whole life, I have loved it.  And I have always dreamed of dedicating more time to it, but circumstances and lack of self-confidence have always held me back.  In the back of my mind I always tell myself that I'll have my own studio one day.

Then, I stumbled upon an adult ballet class at my health club one fine evening last spring.  The Russian instructor was intense and expected nothing but the best.  She screamed at us in Russian and walked by and smacked our legs to lift them higher, and screamed for deeper plies and higher leaps and prettier arabesques.  I knew I had found a gem.  This might not sound appealing to most, but these were signs of an instructor who knew her stuff, and I wanted to take dance seriously again.  It turns out that Elena, the Russian dance instructor, used to dance professionally with the Russian Ballet.  She also toured Europe dancing with a few other companies, up until she married an American and moved to the States, where she started teaching and formed her own small company that performs international dances.  Perfect!  I can combine my love of international cultural studies with dance: my two most beloved majors in college.

After my first class, she introduced herself in her broken English and asked me if I had dance performance experience.  She wanted to invite me to practice with them to see if I had what it takes to perform with them.  It was bad timing.  Jordan was working in Ft. Belvoir and getting home late every night, I still had a nursing baby, and we were going to be moving to Maine for the summer.  I politely declined and continued to attend her ballet classes.  And, every week she asked me to join her company. 

Then, one week, she had all of her company waiting outside of the dance room in the hallway waiting to rehearse for a big upcoming performace.  They all stood there watching me and pointing and so I started to show off a bit.  I certainly didn't want to lag if I had an audience.  And, I admit, I felt a little bit proud of myself for getting some attention doing something that I thought I would never have a chance to do again.  I mean, I was doing real ballet!  I hadn't done ballet since my college classes when I was majoring in Dance Education.  After that class, I was bombarded by the company.  They told me they had heard about me from Elena and they wanted me on the company.  I know, I sound really pompous and I'm definitely bragging - but this is my blog and I promise I'm a lot more humble and polite about this in person.  Unless I'm talking to my sister - then I let it all out and tell her how excited I am :)

Anyhow, I left to Maine for the summer, came back, and Jordan finished out the last of his time at Ft. Belvoir from August through October.  As soon as he was done, I had a minor surgical procedure done that put me out of commission for several weeks, then the kids got sick which led to another two weeks delay... and then, by December, everything finally fell together.  I had my dance bag packed and was ready to start attending rehearsals three nights a week for two hours and one morning a week for two hours. 

I seriously lucked out that I am able to dance and it's made possible by the convenience of it all.  Aside from the close proximity (one mile away from my house, at the Health Club), there is a great Child Minding program at the Club that the kids love, and they spend an hour there each morning painting pictures and playing with friends while I work out or dance.  Most of the rehearsals, thankfully, are in the evening after the kids have had dinner.  Jordan has been very supportive with putting them to bed the nights I have a rehearsal.  In fact, whenever I have any doubts about any of this ("Am I too old?"  "Is it too late for me to start dancing again?"  "Is this ridiculous?"), he's right there in my corner telling me to go for it. I practice at home as much as I can.  It has been so fun! 

One day I got done with an intervals class at the Club and ran into Elena.  She pulled me aside and told me I had one week to learn a Romanian Gypsy Dance to perform for the Martin Luther King Day ceremonies.  She spent maybe ten minutes teaching it to me, handed me the music, and said, "Good Luck!"  At the very next rehearsal, she was scrutinizing my every move, screaming at me that I was late or was missing a step or needed to be sharper or to turn my head this way or that way... My kids were at home with Jordan, sick, and Jordan had to get to soccer.  I had told her that I had to leave early that day, but she was determined to perfect this dance and insisted that I stay.  I could not.  I ran over to my bags and changed shoes and quickly called out my goodbyes to the company as she yelled after me that if I left, I would be out of the dance altogether.  I apologized and said I needed to go.  That was rough.  I cried in the car as I drove home... I was just so exhausted and felt like I couldn't give it my all when I had other priorities.  I couldn't be what she expected - I couldn't rehearse and perform at a professional level as she had at my age.  This is my hobby, not my life. 

I got home and cried out my frustrations to my husband, who sweetly understood completely and encouraged me.  Then, I held my sick baby and felt so much love pour out all around me.  Just to have him in my arms, I would give up the world.  I would do anything for that kid.  For any of my kids and for my husband.  They are my life.  They are my priorities.  They are what really matter.  It turns out that one ten minute session was not enough for me to learn the Gypsy dance, and so what?!  Elena got over it in a day or so, and I still performed in the Bollywood piece I had already been learning instead.  And it was fun, and exhilarating, and I look forward to performing in many more dances in the next 18 months that we are here in the DC area.  And, some day, I'll open up that dance and fitness studio that I've always imagined.

Man, my blog is soooo boring!  Why does this stuff interest me so much.  Sorry everyone.  This is why I don't type on here often.  It's mostly like a personal journal for me :)

I'll post pictures if I can find any.  In fact, I think there will be a link to the performance eventually, but I might be too embarrassed to post it :)

We perform in 6 weeks at the Russian Embassy so I have a lot of work in the meantime......